The five funniest reviews of the Gronk erotica book 'A Gronking to Remember'
You know, we thought Gronkowski's salacious photos with adult film actress BiBi Jones and his appearance on "Top Chef" to judge a Polish sausage competition would mark the limits of his sexualization for public consumption. Boy were we wrong, though Gronk himself has nothing to do with Lacey Noonan's erotica series, to our knowledge.
Anyhow, if you're on the fence about dropping $2.51 for the 38-page book (come on, we've all spent more on much less), consider these wonderful and somewhat NSFW reviews on Amazon. (Disclosure: I have not... yet... read the book. Probably tonight or forgive me, on today's lunch break.)
Better than a 280 yard Roethlisberger pass!!! #PITvsBAL #gronkowski http://t.co/xXg6dQonjB pic.twitter.com/995Ghhnz8N
— Lacey Noonan (@laceynoonan) January 4, 2015
By herbalt:
I bought this book thinking that it was about Rob Gronkowski's early years and his development as an athlete. I soon realized it was a different kind of story. But after a few pages I was hooked, and now won't consider reading anything again about a pro athlete unless it includes a fair portion of b*****.
By Dirk:
One word: Masterpiece. I couldn't get enough of the Gronk scenes! The thought of him getting erotic made me swoon all up in my pants, and I'm not even gay! 10/10, would m********e to again.
By Brian Darmstadt:
My p**** and brain were playing chess throughout the entire book.
By Cameron:
By Kindle customer:
When you are a connoisseur of Patriots tight-end themed erotica like I am, it has been a long, dry period these past few years. Of course, the pinnacle of the genre--2011's "A Tale of Two Tight Ends" is unlikely to have a sequel written (unless it's prison-based...idea!). So I've had to muck about with subpar offerings from fans of other teams. "Doinking Connor Barth", "A Teddy for Bridgewater", even the highly acclaimed "Giving Aaron Rodgers (Cheese)H***"...none of these measure up when you are a die-hard Pats jacker like I am.
That's why "A Gronking to Remember" is so refreshing. It's a 9-route into my heart and loins. It's as if Ms. Noonan gazed into my wanting soul and delivered exactly the sort of sweaty Gronk-pounded ******** that all Pats fans can be proud of and indeed embrace. The plotting is intricate--you will never believe how (and how often) Gronk gets all up in that badonk-a-donk! And when Gronk "spikes" the "football" on her "face" and in her "eye", it's nothing short of technical mastery. The characterization is also fantastic. Just like a regular season game in London, the journey is long and arduous, but this book will probably have more fans and is more fulfilling.
So whether you're a New England housewife looking to spice things up, another closeted Pats fan looking for some good spank material (no judging), or Roger Goodell lying sleepless in a lonely New York hotel room again, this book has all the satisfying Gronking you'd ever want and need. You will laugh, you will cry, you will wish that NFL players didn't have legal protections over their names, images and likenesses. HIGHLY recommended.
I'm assuming his reaction would be the same as this one, when a reporter asked him if he would evaluate the quarterback position after the Chiefs destroyed the Patriots 41-14 in Week 4.
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