Phree-phallin' Phillies

You know how much I hate to pile on.

But this is pretty stunning, what the Phillies have done. Not to mention a classic take-this-with-a-grain-of-salt situation.

About the grain of salt:

It’s no secret the Phillies would love to find a taker for Papelbon, and the pitcher last year made his desire to move on well known. But as long as he’s here, Papelbon remains committed to helping the Phillies win and he disagrees with management’s outlook that it will probably be a couple of years before the team contends again.

“We’ve got a pretty good vibe going in this clubhouse, the best vibe I’ve seen since I've been here,” he said. “That’s exciting. It’s a little bit of a different feel, the attitude, the camaraderie, all that. It’s not just one thing.

“I feel like we’re going to contend. There’s no doubt about that. I don’t think anyone in this clubhouse, especially the veterans, feels like we’re not going to contend. It’s like I said earlier, I don’t think it’s a total rebuild where we’re letting everybody go. I think we’re in it to win it, and we’re going to see what happens until it’s dictated otherwise.”

Of course Papelbon might have had perfectly realistic expectations for this season, and was just being a good soldier. Or maybe he really was delusional, and that's okay too. Nobody wants to know their team will probably stink.

But man, this team. They've got literally one above-average hitter this season: shortstop Freddy Galvis, who entered this season with 550 plate appearances and an awful .218/.259/.362 line. 

So there's probably some regression coming. Soon, and hard.

Of course, the same might be said for Chase Utley, who at this writing is batting .118, easily the worst average in the majors. But he's merely the worst offender. Carlos Ruiz, Darin Ruf, Grady Sizemore, and of course Jeff Francoeur have all been worse than awful. And with nobody but Galvis picking up the slack, the Phillies rank last in on-base percentage, last in slugging percentage, and (in related news) last in scoring.

The good news? Yes, there actually is some. Most of the coming regression should be positive, and Triple-A third baseman Maikel Franco is knocking on the door. Hard.

Of course the Phillies aren't going to contend for anything but last place this season. And if they trade Cole Hamels and Aaron Harang and Papelbon -- just about the only guys with any real value on the roster -- things could get really ugly.

Enjoy the Jeff Francoeur Era while you can, though. I don't think it'll last much longer.