Keating's Corner: Don't kill the messenger

By foxsports
Published

March 7, 2011

It's one of a thousand things wrong with me.

I'm fascinated by people. 

I'm not talking here about your Obama, Quaddafi, Oprah, Seacrest, Kwame, Palin, Pelosi kind of people. (Although they all get my attention at some point during a day, for better or worse.)

I'm not even talking Charlie Sheen here, creator of the biggest train wreck scenes since "The Fugitive."

The reference is to message board people. 

You know who I mean. You read website news stories online about your favorite team and are intrigued enough about what follows. Well, it's true at a frat-house party. It's true with Peanut M & M's. And it's true in online posts. 

Even though you know you should stop, you just keep going. 

It's Jerry Springer for people who read.

These are people who believe that they have a particular brand of knowledge that somehow is completely better than the people who have dedicated a lifetime of learning to a particular sport. These folks have things welling up inside them and feel like they have to share it with someone or they'll bust.

Following a rather innocuous Red Wings story in this morning's Mlive.com, came this enlightened exchange:

"where do you get your info???....where ever, it is wrong...maybe you should do some research before posting incorrect information....let me set you straight again---and I'm getting tired of cleaning up after you."

There was a particularly delicious back-and-forth involving somebody's mom. I'm not kidding. I'll spare you that one. 

But that's proof that there is absolutely no code for these people. I mean, even mud wrestling has some rules attached to it.

Imagine. Something's looking up at mud wrestling.  

I used to think that talk radio was the end of all civilized behavior. But at least there were voices recognized. The anonymity of this is what has unleashed the crazy in us.

"Gee, you're pathetic."

Ouch. That one stung.

"And this criticisim comes from someone who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with 12 gauge bridshot at 10 paces (your endless rants and guarantees that all fail) ...nor do 3rd grade math."

Bridshot??? Ohhh, BIRD-shot. I get it. (You're going to have typos with typing that's furious- and well, furious.)

"You are a delusional moron with an over inflated opinion of yourself and too much time on your hands."

Ummm, wasn't that already a given? Isn't the whole collection in the toomuchtimeonourhands club?

"you are a Wolverine fan???.... if that is true I'm about to slit my wrists...is nothing sacred in this world....."

"oh please do, and put us all out of your misery."

You can tell by now that these people have come to know each other and actually need each other. Like Britney Spears needs paparazzi. Like Rush Limbaugh needs Democrats. 

Here's an idea. Get out of the basement and hug somebody.

And heed a long-ago