How did the Patriots Way go so wrong in KC? Let us count the ways
KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- When it comes to the Patriots Way in Kansas City, hindsight isn't 20-20. It's 23-42.
That was the Chiefs' record from 2009-12, when Scott Pioli, fresh off three Super Bowl wins as a personnel guru with New England, cleaned up candy-wrappers around University of Kansas Hospital Training Complex the way the Lone Ranger cleaned up the old West.
Trouble is, he could never quite get the big things right in the meantime. Such as, say, coach. Or, oh, quarterback.
But hey, why nitpick?
"He tried to force the 'Patriots Way,'" former Chiefs defensive-lineman-turned-analyst Bill Maas says. "The players were really at odds with him the whole time he was here because of that."
The Patriots are visiting for a Monday Night Football tussle, their first such trip to Arrowhead Stadium since November 2005, when Pioli was wearing New England blue, Tom Brady tossed four picks and the hosts Lawrence Tynesed their way to a 26-16 victory.
That was a rare off-day for Team Hoodie, at least as far as those salad days went. From 2001-08, Belichick's Pats averaged 12.1 wins and played in four Super Bowls, the first NFL dynasty of the 21st century, a freaking machine.
So: Why didn't that pixie dust translate here?
Flip through our photo album of NFL cheerleaders.
"I'm not sure," says Chiefs punter Dustin Colquitt, a mainstay before Pioli, during Pioli and after Pioli. "That's kind of an old question, we're so far removed from that regime."
More than 21 months. It just feels like longer. In the immortal words of Fred Willard: Hey, wha' happened?
1. THE WRONG COACH, PART I
Ah, Todd Haley. Right idea. Wrong dude.
"They hired him late; they hired the coaching staff really late -- the coaching (hires) that were available were really picked over," Maas said.
In the winter of '08-09 Haley was a hot commodity -- or lukewarm, at the worst -- as the offensive coordinator of the Arizona Cardinals, just off the first Super Bowl berth in their otherwise tepid history. Then 41, the Pittsburgh native and son of longtime Steelers personnel man Dick Haley was running buddies with Pioli in 1997-99, when both worked for the New York Jets.
"And they had to settle on Todd," Maas said. "And it was a level that Todd wasn't ready for."
And, oh, the clashes. Chan Gailey. Larry Johnson. Then, ultimately, with Pioli himself, a wedge that ended Haley's tenure after 47 games, including one in the postseason, over two-plus seasons.
2. TYSON JACKSON AND JON BALDWIN
For a guy with such a great rep as a talent evaluator, Pioli had a .500 winning percentage when it came to his four first-round draft picks. And the misses -- defensive end Tyson Jackson in 2009 and wideout Jon Baldwin in 2011 -- were flailing, Dave Kingman kind of misses.
In Pioli's defense, 2010 first-rounder Eric Berry, when healthy, is a Pro Bowl pillar at safety; ditto nose tackle Dontari Poe, a first-round pick two years later. And outside linebacker Justin Houston, a third-round steal in 2011, has blossomed into the perfect bookend opposite pass-rushing specialist Tamba Hali.
On the other hand: Jackson. Javier Arenas. Donald Washington. Jalil Brown. Yikes.
"When you have high draft choices and you don't hit on them -- you need to compile a good stretch of things on your high draft choices or just have successful guys come out of those drafts," Maas says. "And (the Chiefs) really didn't. All the guys he drafted, for the most part, are gone."
Indeed, of the 32 selections made under the auspices of the "Patriots Way," only 10 -- less than a third -- are still on the roster.
3. THE WRONG QUARTERBACK
Pioli was part of the staff that "found" Brady in the sixth round, the ultimate diamond in the rough. That stays on the report card.
But he was also convinced that one of Brady's many backups in New England, Matt Cassel, could at least somewhat approximate No. 12's success, based on one fill-in season for the future Hall of Famer in 2008.
"And again, he was relying on Bill Belichick," Maas points out. "His greatest disservice (to Kansas City) to date, is (when) Bill Belichick said, 'We're not winning in spite of Matt Cassel, we're winning because of Matt Cassel.'
"And (Pioli) took that as a blessing, that this guy is a franchise quarterback. And it clearly wasn't the case."
One of the first things Pioli did inside the Chiefs' cockpit in 2009 was trade a second-round pick to the Pats for Cassel, then sign him to a six-year contract worth a reported $28 million in guaranteed dollars. But follow-up moves were even worse -- clearing the decks for him and discouraging any serious competition for the starting job.
The position had stabilized a little in 2009 and with the help of Charlie Weis, Cassel even reached a Pro Bowl after the 2010 season, but when Weis left and things went south with Haley, they went south under center, too.
And quickly.
"It's hard to have a lot of success in this league if you don't have a good, solid quarterback playing there," coach Andy Reid said Thursday. "And it was very important to have Donovan (McNabb in Philly) all those years, and I know Bill would say the same thing about Tom."
4. THE WRONG COACH, PART II
Ah, Romeo Crennel. A key cog in the Bill Parcells/Belichick family tree, a stellar track record as a defensive coordinator. And an abysmal track record as a head coach.
Players love the man, which is great.
But they don't win for him, which is a problem.
In Cleveland, Grandpa Romeo was 24-40 with only one winning campaign out of four, with seasons of double-digit losses in the other three. After a 2-1 run to finish 2011 in an interim role, Pioli handed the reins to Romeo.
The rest -- 2-14 and the horrors that accompanied it -- is sad, regrettable, forgettable history.
5. WORKING WITH THE HOODIE DOES NOT, UM, MAKE YOU THE HOODIE
Sort of goes without saying, doesn't it?
"Scott was trying to mimic Bill, and that can't happen," Maas says. "He came in as a general manager; you have to be the general manager.
"He was trying to implement a way to do things, and the only one who can do that is the head coach. The guy with the whistle around his neck is the personality the team takes on. It doesn't take on the personality of the owners, the president or the general manager. It's that guy they're with every single day."
Pioli had the power, the scepter, the final word. As with "Moneyball" maestro Billy Beane and his managers in Oakland, Chiefs coaches felt almost like figureheads -- all title and no real, lasting authority.
Which, when you think about it, isn't the Patriots Way. At all.
"This wasn't really a Patriots regime," Colquitt notes, "unless you have a Bill Belichick in the room."
Is that the PC way to say it?
A knowing smile.
"That's the only way to say it," Colquitt replies.
You can follow Sean Keeler on Twitter at @SeanKeeler or email him at seanmkeeler@gmail.com.