Dear Santa: A wish list from the naughty

By Craig Morgan
FOXSportsArizona.com


Dear Santa:

It's the Arizona Cardinals here. You probably know this already, but we've been bad this year. Really bad.

We didn't compete for a division title in a historically awful division.

We sent our quarterback of the future packing in the preseason without even giving him a chance.

We replaced him with a guy whose most memorable performance came in an epic postgame press conference meltdown.

We concealed our star running back's knee surgery, opening him up to media and public criticism while fueling his bad rap.

We fielded the league's second-worst offense and sixth-worst defense at the same time!

We took money from families and businesses and made them watch our wretchedness, week after week.

We even made them pay for a Christmas Day date with another lousy team.

We know it's a lot to ask, but can you find it in your heart to forgive us? After all, we have been charitable. We've given opponents 33 footballs this season. That's got to be worth something, right?

There are lots of things we'd like to put on our wish list. That practice bubble that team president Michael Bidwill promised long ago would help keep players around in the offseason and less fatigued during the season.

That taxpayer-funded retractable roof sure would look nice if it were open once in a while.

Immediate proof that our recent draft picks possess more than potential would be cool.

And if you could convince Kurt Warner to model himself after Brett Favre