Bark-etology: A deep dive into Primrose the puppy's bracket

By Sports Illustrated and Daniel Rapaport/Sports Illustrated via Extra Mustard
Published

While we all like to think research and "expertise" will help us fill out a good bracket, bracketology is one giant crap shoot. There's a few rules of thumb—a 12 seed will upset a 5, and the overall winner will almost certainly be a 4 seed or higher—but besides that, you might be better off just flipping a coin for each of the 63 games. 

Or, you could just copy Primrose the puppy's bracket. 

Primrose is a 5-year-old Chihuahua mix, and she is available for adoption at the ASPCA shelter in Manhattan. She was a bit nervous about making her picks, so we bribed her by putting very small pieces of equally sized treats next to each name. When we tried it without treats, she just rolled on her back to get belly rubs. Primrose doesn't mess around.

The ASPCA and Animal Planet are partnering with four local shelters across four regions to create an “Adoption Madness” bracket. The bracket will feature dogs and cats from each region with the goal of raising awareness for adoptable animals around the country.

For the duration of Adoption Madness (March 17-April 3), animal lovers nationwide will have the opportunity to vote online for their favorite cat or dog. The winning prize is a fully funded adoption event at the winning shelter. For each fan vote, Animal Planet will donate $1 to that animal’s shelter up to $5,000.

Here are some takeaways from Primrose's bracket. 

Two 16 seeds will beat 1 seeds, and a 16 seed will make the Final Four

It's finally the year that a 16 seed pulls off the unthinkable, according to Primrose's proprietary and highly classified statistical predictive models. She's picking Texas Southern to beat Kansas, and she's also picking the winner of NC Central and UC Davis to make it to the Final Four. When we asked her which team it would be, she said nothing, probably because she is a dog and doesn't speak English. 

She's going with Wisconsin to win it all and Wichita St. to get to title game

Two of the bigger surprises from Selection Sunday were Wisconsin's getting an 8 seed and Wichita State's getting a 12. Primrose thought those were laughable, and she's banking on both teams to be ticked off and reach the title game. 

Both Bulldog teams will make early exits...coincidence?

Primrose is picking Gonzaga to lose in the Elite Eight and Butler to lose to Minnesota in the second round. I'm sensing a cross-breed rivalry here.