101 increasingly stupid names for your fantasy baseball team

By Sports Illustrated and Extra Mustard/Sports Illustrated via Extra Mustard
Published

Let’s be honest, the most important part of fantasy baseball isn’t the draft—it’s your team’s name. 

Even if you wind up in last place, you can at least save face by having a clever name. The hard part is coming up with a good one, which is why we’ve compiled a list of 101 names to choose from. Some of them are good; some of them are very bad. We will not apologize. 

We’ve roughly sorted the following list of 101 fantasy names from most plausible to most idiotic. Direct all complaints to @SI_ExtraMustard on Twitter. 

• Reasonable Trout

• Fulmer House

• Scherzer? I hardly know her

• The Correan WAR

• Three Lindors Down

• A Puig of their Own

• Abad And Boujee

• Father stretch my Hanser Alberto Pt. 1

• Bad Hembrees

• The Rites of Springer

• The Bourn Identity

• No Stroman No Cry

• Teheran up my heart

• Almora Life

• A Moon Shaped Pujols

• Manaea vs. Food

• Godzilla vs. Rodon

• The Realmuto Housewives

• The WAR Andrus

• Gentlemen Profar Blondes

• Indiana Jones and Dae Ho Lee grail

• If you give a mouse a Mookie

• Wainwrights don’t make a Wong

• You know nothing, Miguel Sano

• A Girl has Nolasco

• The Duda Bides

• Braching Brad

• Torreyes To The Dress

• Infante Jest

• For Whom the Odubel Tolls

• To Pimp a Butera

• The Barnhart Part 4

• When the praises go up, the Blevins come down

• You don’t want Cano problem, Sano problem with me

• Werth Werth Werth Werth Werth Werth (Rihanna voice)

• She Sells Cishek By The Seashore

• You Can’t Hide Your Ryon Eyes

• Plouffe! (There It Is)

• Schoop! (There it is)

• Snell Hath No Fury

• Lackeys Open Doors

• Saw it on Reddick

• Kipnis Everdeen

• Votto von Bismarck

• WikiLeakes

• Starling Nikki

• Let’s save Paulo Orlando’s house

• I Trumbo, You Trumbo, He/She Trumbo

• Trumbology, The Study of Trumbo

• Schwar and Peace

• Vogt or Die

• Wacha Flacha Michael

• Hisashi on the Floor

• Piscotty and Coffee

• Confortobly Numb

• Corey Seager and the Silver Bullet Band

• Horton Hears a McHugh

• We’ll always have Neris

• The First Boer War

• Inglorious Bastardos

• Yangervis? I hardly know her

• Cano business like Sano Business

• These are not the Pedroias you’re looking for

• Tan Roark, Tanner Roark, Tannest Roark

• This Mitch Is Moreland

• This Greg is Holland

• Hanley! Hanli! Hanlé!

• Super Benintendi Chalmers

• I say Pineda, you say Polanco

• I say Maeda, you say Machado

• The Naquin and Famous (we also would have accepted “Naquin Lunch”)

• Naquin and Afraid

• It takes an Encarnacion of millions to hold us back

• Chris Archers of Loaf

• Do You Like Mike Fiers? (Sung to the last stanza of this obscure 90s song)

• Remember the First Adam Eaton?

• Gose Ride The Wisch

• Hello Motter, Hello Fadder (Here I Am At Camp Tanaka)

• The Gyorko Store

• When life gives you lemons, paint that Schmidt Gold

• Tulo windooooooow, Tulo wall

• Welcome to LABRtown

• The Human Cespedes

• Glen Perkins!

• The CainSmokers

• The JoshSmokers

• Baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Odor

• Baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Dozier

• Baby pull me closer in the backseat Ivan Nova

• Baby pull me closer in the backseat Aaron Nola

• Yu, crank dat Soulja Boy

• Adam “Not Pacman” Jones

• Maeda’s Family Reunion

• Maeda’s Big Happy Family

• Maeda’s Witness Protection

• Maeda Goes to Jail

• Maeda Gets a Job

• A Maeda Christmas

• Boo! A Maeda Halloween

• Zach Brexit

• Cashner Me Outside (I am so so sorry)