The Internet is destroying Ryan Lochte for changing his story about Rio robbery

Ryan. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan ... not like this, man.

In the powder keg of actual pressing issues assailing the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, there's no room or time for half-baked stories about crimes that didn't take place.

But new details emerged Thursday night about the robbery allegations levied earlier this week by U.S. swimmers Ryan Lochte, Jack Conger, Gunnar Bentz and James Feigen.

Now, the swimmers' claims about being robbed by Rio police early Sunday morning has been called into question by Brazilian authorities investigating the allegations. Lochte, who returned to America on Wednesday, is already backpedaling on his story, citing stress-induced "traumatic mischaracterization" for how he described the event. Meanwhile, Lochte's teammates Conger and Bentz remain in Rio after being pulled off a plane bound for the United States by Brazilian law enforcement. They have agreed to stay in the country as police gather information.

In short, this thing is quickly devolving into a venti cluster-dump.

And, naturally, Lochte is getting both barrels of the Internet boom-stick after his hasty exit from Brazil this week.

These are good jokes, and much deserved. But once we're done howling at what could be the dumbest made-up wild night story of 2016 -- Lochte and company could be in, like, real trouble.

It's too early in the information gathering process for conjecture, but falsifying a robbery -- if that turns out to be what this is -- isn't something police tend to take lightly.

Dan is on Twitter. Ryan Lochte: hero to a nation, now a man of no country on the run from his past.