The Definition Of 'NFC East-ing'

By Charlotte Wilder

Week 9 in the NFL was confusing, because several teams that have looked very good for most of the season looked ... very bad. 

But before we get to that — lookin’ at you, Bucs and Seahawks — let’s start with one very good team that looked, well, very good. 

1. Are the Steelers still undefeated?

Yes. While the Cowboys took a 13-point lead over Pittsburgh in the first quarter playing with — fourth-string? Tenth-string? Fifteenth-string? — quarterback Garrett Gilbert, the Steelers knew better than to give up their so far undefeated season to an NFC East team with a 2-7 record. 

Roethlisberger's squad scored nine unanswered points at the end of the fourth quarter, and Minkah Fitzpatrick knocked away a pass in the end zone — for the second week in a row! — to save Pittsburgh’s undefeated season.

At 8-0, they have the best record in franchise history. All hail Pennsylvania! 

2. Was the great heavyweight battle of the old man quarterbacks as compelling as people thought it would be? 

No. It wasn’t. Tom Brady and the Buccaneers had a total come-apart vs Drew Brees and the Saints. New Orleans absolutely bulldozed Tampa Bay 38-3, and Drew Brees now holds the NFL record for career touchdowns with 563.

He and Brady had been trading this record back and forth, but because Brady didn’t throw a touchdown — the Bucs didn’t even score one — Brees walked away with it this week. 

I don’t think anyone saw this coming? This was supposed to be a good game! A rematch, Brady’s chance to beat the Saints after losing to New Orleans in Week 1! 

Instead, the Saints went up 38-0. Tom Brady had NEVER trailed by 38 points before. This was his worst loss. 

The Bucs face the Panthers next week, and Brady is either going to show up ready for a classic Brady revenge game, or there is going to be real trouble in Tampa.

3. So, wait, Antonio Brown didn’t come back?

Oh, no, he did. Tom Brady’s sleepover buddy was certainly in uniform. But he had very few catches. Granted, Brady threw three picks, so very few Bucs players had any catches at all. 
Florida men, amiright? 

4. What was the match-up like between the young sharpshooters?

Sunday really felt like the changing of the guard, because before Brady and Brees took the field, Kyler Murray and Tua Tagovailoa put on quite the show.

Watching the two young quarterbacks sling the ol’ pigskin back and forth and scramble around outside the pocket was a thrill, and it was kind of too bad that someone had to lose. 

But thanks to a Cardinals missed kick, the W went to Tua and Miami, 34-31. 

Tua’s record is now *drumroll please* Tua-0. 

(Two and oh, Tua-oh, get it? I’m sorry.)

5. Speaking of the Cowboys, what’s up with our favorite clown show division, the NFC East? 

Simply put, the NFC East is NFC East-ing. 

Let me tell you a story to illustrate what NFC East-ing means: When the Giants played Washington, there was one massive fumble that turned into a giant game of hot potato. 

Here, check it out:

What you’re seeing is basically a live look at one of the NFC East teams trying to win the division. The ball is the title. It’s slipping out of everyone's hands. And no one deserves to end up with it.

To put this division in perspective: The Giants beat Washington, but Washington beat the Cowboys, but the Cowboys beat the Giants, so it’s like an M.C. Escher print of badness. An endless loop of football despair.

6. Did Patrick Mahomes make history?

He did. In a turn of events that will shock absolutely no one who follows the sport, Mahomes reached the milestone of 100 passing touchdowns faster than any quarterback ever. The Chiefs beat the Panthers, 33-31.

But Carolina put up a good fight. Christian McCaffrey returned after being out six weeks with an ankle sprain and didn’t miss a beat, scoring on the first drive, waltzing into the end zone. 

McCaffrey makes football look so easy that sometimes I find myself thinking, "hey, I could do that," before remembering that my bones would be turned to a fine powder faster than I could say McCaffrey’s name. 

But back to Mahomes. This guy only has one pick all season, and he’s putting up absurd numbers. So after Brady’s abysmal performance on Sunday night, it seems like the Chiefs QB is leading the MVP conversation.  

Which brings me to this question: If Mahomes is going to dominate for the next twenty years — knock on wood — how long will it take for America to turn against the Chiefs? Asking for a Patriots fan. 

7. Is Josh Allen good?

Yes. He’s very good. On Saturday, Allen’s grandmother passed away, and on Sunday, Allen went out there and played his heart out. He ended the game with 31 of 38 for 415 yards and beat the Seahawks, 44-34. 

Allen is now the first quarterback in the Super Bowl era with over 400 passing yards, over three passing touchdowns, zero interceptions, and a 130+ passer rating in multiple games in a season. You know who was the last Bills quarterback to have back-to-back games with over 300 passing yards? 

Drew Bledsoe, in 2002. 

Josh Allen: The hope of Buffalo. 

8. Does the Bills’ greatness mean that Seattle had to reckon with the fact that their defense leaves a lot to be desired?

Yes. They could not stop the pass against Allen and the Bills. Honestly, Seattle’s defensive struggles make the team’s offense that much more impressive, given that they’re still on top of the NFC West. 

Seattle has to do something about the defense, however, if they want to stay there. The 44 points the Seahawks allowed were the most the team has given up in coach Pete Carroll’s 11 seasons in Seattle, and Wilson has turned the ball over seven times in his past three games. 

9. Were there any hugs? 

I’m so glad you asked. Yes! AJ Brown caught a beautiful 40-yard touchdown and jumped to bear hug the field goal base. 

More — or less, depending on what matters to you — importantly, the Titans won and Brown became the third player to have a receiving touchdown in each of his past five games.

Also, shoutout to AJ for this tweet: 

 We love to see that civic engagement!

10. How many games have the Ravens won on the road in a row?

Ten! That’s right, Baltimore won their tenth straight game on the road when they beat the Colts, 24-10. They ended a 3-0 unbeaten streak for Indianapolis at home, and Lamar Jackson rushed for a team-high 58 yards. 

11. Did anyone wear athletic shorts as a mask?

First of all, let’s just pause for a second and appreciate how insane that question is. Imagine seeing that in January? You’d be like — is this sportswriter okay? 

But here we are, and the answer is yes, one of the Chargers coaches strapped shorts to his face and walked around. 

As someone who’s used socks as mittens before, I respect this move. Also, in more Chargers fashion news: their navy uniforms were incredible:

 Alas ... fashion wasn’t enough to help them beat the Raiders. A Chargers touchdown was overturned at the very end of the game and Las Vegas walked away with the win.  

Young and promising quarterback Justin Herbert looked very sad, and I was very sad for him. 

12. Was Dalvin Cook the best RB in the league this weekend?

Yeah, I think it’s fair to say that right now, since he’s pretty much the reason the Vikings are even remotely coming back to life at all. Cook has had a rushing touchdown in seven straight games, giving him the longest active streak in the NFL. And on Sunday, Cook had a 200 yard game for the first time in his career. 

That puts him at 369 yards rushing with six touchdowns over the past two games. 

So listen, I know that Russell Wilson has the whole "let Russ cook" thing, but like….let Dalvin Cook.