Buccaneers: 2016 Presidential Nominees and Select Cabinet Members
Sep 25, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers pirate ship in the end zone against the Los Angeles Rams during the second half at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
Imagine a world where we had the opportunity to elect Buccaneers to run the country.
More from The Pewter Plank
It is the morning of election day, Buccaneers‘ fans. Today is the day we finally get to end all of the back and forth, the speeches, the rhetoric, and let our voices be heard.
Now that we finally have hit the big day, I thought it might be fun to take a light-hearted view of everything and discuss a bit of a fantasy world.
What if we could have members of our beloved Bucs run this country of ours? There has always been that running joke about people writing Mickey Mouse in as a candidate on the ballots.
Well, we aren’t talking about Mickey, but what if we wrote in members of the Bucs? I decided to have some fun this morning and write in who I would nominate for President, Vice President, and who I would name to three significant members of the cabinet.
Let’s get right to it with our President.
Nov 3, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Atlanta Falcons defensive end Brooks Reed (50) holds back Tampa Bay Buccaneers tackle Demar Dotson (69) as quarterback Jameis Winston (3) throws a pass during the second half of a football game at Raymond James Stadium. The Falcons won 43-28. Mandatory Credit: Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports
President: Jameis Winston
To me, he is the only logical choice to lead the population at large into the future.
We know he would win the popular vote. Scott Reynolds of the Pewter Report ran an article yesterday where they polled the locker room for whom they would choose for President. Jameis was the resounding winner.
But it’s more than that. The job of the quarterback is, in some ways, similar to that of a president. The quarterback makes the final decision of where the ball goes. He is held responsible when things are going badly and given praise when they are going well. The media and fans will talk about how the quarterback is doing after just about every time he performs.
Doesn’t that sound like the role of the President? His or potentially her approval rating goes up and down based on performance. It’s talked about in the media. He’s the guy who makes the ultimate decisions. It’s like they “quarterback” the country.
I rest my case.
Nov 3, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Evans (13) runs with the ball against the Atlanta Falcons during the second half at Raymond James Stadium. Atlanta Falcons defeated the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 43-28. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
Vice President: Mike Evans
For the office of Vice President, we need someone who has chemistry with the President. The Vice President is the second in command. He takes over if something happens to the President. They need to be on the same page at all times. They basically know what the President is going to do in any given situation and are ready to back him up.
On our Bucs, who has better chemistry than Winston and Mike Evans? After two 1,000 yard seasons, one with Winston, their second together has been even better. Evans leads the team in receiving by a wide margin with 55 receptions for 745 yards and eight touchdowns. That projects out to 110 receptions, 1,490 yards and 16 touchdowns.
His 55 receptions tie him for fourth in the league, and his 745 yards rank him fifth. I’d say that’s a guy on the same page with the leader, and the perfect choice for second in command.
Oct 30, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Oakland Raiders running back Latavius Murray (28) is tackled by Kwon Alexander (58) the first half at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Jonathan Dyer-USA TODAY Sports
Secretary of Defense: Kwon Alexander
The Defense Department’s website states that they manage “…an inventory of installations and facilities to keep Americans safe”. They are in charge of the military and defending our country. There are military and intelligence agencies that are subordinate or that report to the department.
Basically, they lead the defense, as the name implies.
Wouldn’t the most consistent tackler on the team be a good choice to lead the Department of Defense?
Despite playing only 12 games as a rookie, Kwon took the league by storm, posting 96 tackles and assuming the role as the quarterback of the defense. This year he has been even better, on a pace for 144 tackles.
He defends the land for the Bucs, he could certainly defend all of us, could he not?
Oct 10, 2016; Charlotte, NC, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers outside linebacker Daryl Smith (51) celebrates with defensive tackle Akeem Spence (97) and defensive end William Gholston (92) after intercepting a pass in the second quarter at Bank of America Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports
Secretary of Veterans’ Affairs: Daryl Smith
This department very literally takes care of our veterans. They take care of the federal benefits and patient care for these veterans and their dependents. Leading this group is an important job, as we have all heard far too much about our vets not getting the services that they need upon returning home.
To fill this job appropriately you need someone who has been through a lot. The leader needs to be someone who understands the needs of the veterans so he can fight to provide those needs. Many are our most senior members of society, so they must be taken care of.
So for this role, in goes the longest tenured NFL player on the roster. Daryl Smith is in his 13th year in the league and has been a solid player for his entire career. He is in his first year with Tampa, but over his first 12 full seasons, he has averaged nearly 89 tackles per year, covering 176 games.
From the Jaguars, to the Ravens, and now to the Bucs, he has been through a lot. He’s a perfect choice to head up this department.
Nov 3, 2016; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive tackle Gerald McCoy (93) is congratulated by outside linebacker Lavonte David (54) after he sacked Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan (2) (not pictured) during the first half at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
Secretary of Homeland Security: Gerald McCoy
The website for the department indicates that “The Department of Homeland Security has a vital mission: to secure the nation from the many threats we face”. From securing our borders, to securing cyberspace, to inspecting chemicals, they do it all.
They protect America. They protect “our house”, as we sometimes say at football games.
Well who better than a guy that protects our house to take that job? In his seventh season with the team, Gerald McCoy has posted 105 tackles and 21 sacks in 42 home games to date. He’s a guy that brings it every week in a quest to defend our house, so he gets to head up Homeland Security
Hope you guys enjoyed a Bucs’ take on Election Day. What do you think of the choices? Would you nominate others? Let’s chat in the comments below…