Would you pick '96 Jordan or '16 Curry first in a playground pickup game?
Now that the 2015-16 Golden State Warriors have tied the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls at 72 wins, you're going to be hearing quite a lot about how these teams stack up. Well, more than you already were, anyway.
We've already had our share of fun with the subject, as we think the Warriors would make short work of the Bulls in a seven-game series. But what if we went the other direction? What if we took the Bulls and Warriors, threw them into one big player pool and picked sides for one of the greatest pickup games in NBA history?
The answer: You'd have quite a surprise with the first overall pick.
"Right?!"
So here are the rules:
-- Snake-style draft. Dieter Kurtenbach had the first overall selection, followed by Andrew Lynch picking second and third, then Dieter fourth and fifth, and so on until we had two 10-team squads.
-- Neutral court, international FIBA Olympics rules. Rather than try to figure out whether we'd play in the Bulls' era or Warriors', we went international. That means offensive goaltending is legal, the foul calls are a little tighter, and the 3-point line is a little shorter.
-- One game. Winner take all and reigns supreme.
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Here, then, are the squads:
1. Stephen Curry
Kurtenbach: Three is greater than two, and while Michael Jordan is the greatest player of all time, Steph Curry is having the greatest season of all-time. It's a tough call, but I'd rather face Jordan than Steph.
2. Michael Jordan
Lynch: Do I really need to explain this one? We could play this game on Mars with a 4-point line, and MJ is still the obvious choice -- especially if you can get him with the second pick. He's the greatest competitor ever. He's not going to lose this game.
3. Draymond Green
Lynch: Sorry, Scottie. Draymond's a better 3-point shooter, and I want his intensity. Hell, he probably thinks he's the best player in this entire group. Assuming Green and Jordan don't kill each other, they'll bring out the absolute best in one another. And no one is going to score on them, especially not Curry. Green knows all of his tricks and how to get in Steph's head.
4. Scottie Pippen
Kurtenbach: Give me one of the greatest defenders to square up Jordan. Scottie's ballhandling skills and ability to score 1-on-1 would be lethal next to Curry.
5. Klay Thompson
Kurtenbach: I want the second splash brother. He's hitting 3s at a historic rate himself and his defense is criminally overlooked. Klay could give Scottie a rest on MJ. (We're going to be throwing bodies at him all night.)
6. Toni Kukoc
Lynch: At the heart of it, this is a pickup game, which means the most versatile players are going to have room to shine. While the big names are going at it, Kukoc will be lurking, ready to knock down daggers and find open teammates.
7. Steve Kerr
Lynch: You want to talk about historic 3-point shooting? Good luck chasing the most accurate shooter the NBA's seen all around the court. Sure, focus on MJ. It's what Kerr is counting on.
8. Andre Iguodala
Kurtenbach: I'll always take three great defenders on the same team. This one has the ability to control the pace of the contest.
9. Andrew Bogut
Kurtenbach: The big man can run the offense through the key, and his rim protection solidifies the defense.
10. Ron Harper
Lynch: As you will throw bodies at Jordan, so too will we throw bodies at Steph. When people talk about those '95-'96 Bulls, they don't give Harper enough credit for being a great defender -- and with his size, he'll give Curry fits.
11. Harrison Barnes
Lynch: We could use a little bit of wing depth. And more shooting never hurts. If Barnes didn't have that Tar Heel connection, Jordan might drive him out of the gym with his fiery motivational tacticis. Fortunately for the Warriors forward, however, he bleeds UNC blue just like MJ.
12. Dennis Rodman
Kurtenbach: The Worm might not be able to hit a jumper, but he's the greatest pound-for-pound rebounder in NBA history and was the OG of 6-foot-6 guys playing center.
13. Marreese Speights
Kurtenbach: Because Mo Buckets.
14. Festus Ezeli
Lynch: Ezeli is enough big man to defend Bogut when he's on the floor. Other than that, we're going small anyway.
15. Shaun Livingston
Lynch: Either Curry or Thompson is going to have to go through hell when Livingston is on the floor. And this way, we establish an identity as a team of post-up guards.
16. Luc Longley
Kurtenbach: Two viable centers to choose from, with the option to go with Rodman at the 5. Luc is steady.
17. Leandro Barbosa
Kurtenbach: Along with Mo Buckets, Barbosa is good for flash points. The roadrunner can pick up the pace during a lull in the game.
18. Bill Wennington
Lynch: He probably won't see the floor much, if at all, but a backup big is always key. If nothing else, we can have him commit a few hard fouls if needed.
19. Brandon Rush
Lynch: A whirring buzzsaw of moving parts all motivated by Michael Jordan to win ... or else. That's the goal here, and Rush fits in perfectly.
20. James Michael McAdoo
Kurtenbach: Was going to take Dickie Simpkins because, well, the name, but I like McAdoo at the 5 and in pick-and-roll situations. Hopefully, he won't need to play, but I'd like him to contribute a bit if he does. Unlike Dickie Simpkins.
Team Dieter: Stephen Curry, Scottie Pippen, Klay Thompson, Andre Iguodala, Andrew Bogut, Dennis Rodman, Marreese Speights, Luc Longley, Leandro Barbosa, James Michael McAdoo
Team Andrew: Michael Jordan, Draymond Green, Toni Kukoc, Steve Kerr, Ron Harper, Harrison Barnes, Festus Ezeli, Shaun Livingston, Bill Wennington, Brandon Rush
We gave each "general manager" a few hundred to explain their position. Here are their closing arguments:
Dieter Kurtenbach: My selection of Curry over Jordan is going to make me a pariah among those whose affinity for Jordan is tied to a marketing campaign built around $400 shoes that came out in 1995, and I'm fine with that.
We're comparing single seasons, and I can't find one better than Curry's 2015-2016.
Jordan's greatness is unquestioned, but his offensive game --€” predicated on turnaround mid-range jumpers in the triangle offense --€” is antiquated.
Curry's is on the cutting edge. He has an effective field-goal rate of .626 this season. He could make 400 3-pointers in a year.
Yes, both players have an offensive rating of 124 in their respective seasons, but Curry has a better VORP (for you statheads) and is more unpredictable (for the non-numbers crowd) than Jordan.
I can draft players that can rotate on Jordan on defense. No one can stop him, but I like my chances of slowing him down. I have no idea how to slow down Curry.
Furthermore, it's not a 1 v 1 game. I'd much rather have a Big 3 of Curry, Thompson, and Pippen than Jordan, Draymond, and Kukoc.
I want to run and gun. I want a high-motion, four shooter offense and a ton of switching on defense. The rest of my draft reflects this desire. Defense won't be lacking on my squad. But to run the offense I want, I need my best scorer to be my point guard, and there's no better option than Curry.
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Andrew Lynch: A high-flying offense is never a bad plan. Truly, 3-pointers are the future. And that's why this squad is going to drag Curry & Co. down into the mud.
For all the theory and on-paper reasons Steph might destroy a Jordan-led team, he's still playing against Michael Jordan. In one game, I want Jordan on my team if for no other reason than to "motivate" his teammates to play at their highest level. And as good as Pippen is, we're putting Draymond Green next to Jordan to kick that intensity up to an even higher level.
Green, mind you, is the player his former college coach said would fight Godzilla. Assuming he and Jordan don't get into a fistfight -- and with ultimate bragging rights on the line, they'd concentrate on the common enemy -- they would pound their opposition into the ground.
Jordan's not going to guard Curry, though. That'd be silly. Instead, he's on Klay we have Ron Harper and Shaun Livingston rotating in at point guard. Those are two ultra-long big guards who can take Curry into the post and wear him out on that end while making him fight for every inch on offense.
In fact, every member of the Curry-led team is going to have to literally fight their way around the court. We'll put the onus on the refs to stare Jordan in the eye and whistle his team for fouls every time down. And they'll blink first.
As for those 3s: Agreed. They're going to be very, very important. That's why Steve Kerr came off the board so early. And we drastically underrate Toni Kukoc, who was a 40-percent 3-point shooter in 1996 and was one of the best playmaking big men of his era. Meanwhile, Harrison Barnes comes off the bench to display his versatility. And if he plays more like his "Harry B' alter ego, then he goes back to the bench.
Oh, and Dennis Rodman? If you put Rodman on the floor, we're not defending him. At all. Good luck playing 4-on-5!
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