The Origin Story of Alex Abrines

Nov 18, 2016; Oklahoma City, OK, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder guard Alex Abrines (8) drives to the basket in front of Brooklyn Nets forward Joe Harris (12) during the fourth quarter at Chesapeake Energy Arena. Credit: Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports

The fictional origin story of Oklahoma City Thunder guard Alex Abrines.

Alex Abrines was born Alejandro Redondo in 1993 in Palma, Spain. He was forced to shoot a basketball every single day starting at the age of five until his finger tips were worn down and unrecognizable. When he turned six, his father declared him a man and brought challengers from far and wide to face his son in a three-point shooting contest.

As good as Alex was, he could not defeat larger and more-skilled men than him. Not only was he six, but other players were allowed to contest his shot. More often than not, Alex would get his shot blocked while the older players would easily shoot over the six year old Abrines.

The consequences for losing these games were grave. Alex’s father did not feel that his son was tall enough for a six year old and that is why his shot kept getting blocked. He also did not feel that his son was releasing the ball quick enough.

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When Alex lost a three-point shooting contest, his father shackled him by the wrists and ankles, and then began stretching him to make him taller. After that, he would pass him the basketball, and if Alex did not get his shot off in less than a second, his father’s assistant would pelt him in the back with rocks.

Alex put up with this for two years. When he turned eight, he challenged his father to a three-point shooting contest. His father accepted, and the game was on. Alex missed his first shot. It hit the front of the rim and bounced right into his father’s chest. His father promptly pissed himself.

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Seeing the agony in his father’s face made Alex smile. He knew he could have made the shot, but deliberately shot it short with extra force, hoping the ball would ricochet back and hit his father. He didn’t imagine that he would shoot the piss out of his father.

His father’s agony quickly turned to anger. Alex noticed the change and immediately ran for his life. Alex fled his father’s farm and lived in the woods amongst bears and wolves for two years. He befriended many bears and wolves. They taught him how to survive in a foreign place. He taught them how to be more human. At the age of ten, Alex was captured by a local circus.

The circus planned to market Alex as “BearWolfMan: The Human Who Lived With Bears and Wolves For Two Years.” But that was a long title and had many patrons skeptical. The circus owners were ready to release Alex back into the wild, until they wondered upon him shooting a basketball over giraffes and elephants. From that point forward, Alex become “BearWolfMan: Basketball Gawd.”

Alex spent five years in the circus, dazzling onlookers with his ability to shoot a basketball over the outstretched neck of a giraffes. Alex played one-on-one against bears, initiating contact and finishing for the hoop and the harm. He dribbled under elephants, through tigers, and around clowns who stood in his way. People claim that watching him shoot a basketball was like watching a human shoot out of a cannon. His release was quick and sudden. His form was flawless. The ball splashed through the net like a human landing on a safety net.

Nov 22, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder guard Alex Abrines (8) shoots the ball against the Los Angeles Lakers during the second quarter at Staples Center. Credit: Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

At 15, Spanish basketball leagues began to take notice. Scouts and recruits were amazed by BearWolfMan. But Alex did not want to be viewed as a sideshow. He wanted to be recruited for his talent, not for his circus act.

Alex left the circus at age 16. He didn’t want the stigma of the circus to hinder his basketball prospects. Alex set out to travel the world for two years. He went to Canada and China to study the greats like Steve Nash and Yao Ming. He even spent time in Madripoor where he learned how to grow hair on his face.

The Spain FIBA Under-18 team told him that he would be given a chance to prove he was more than a circus act. Alex didn’t disappoint. He won tournament MVP. He had been playing against 18-year-olds since he was six. Now, with an equal playing field, things weren’t really equal.

Alex would go on to achieve much success in Spain, but he never felt complete. He always felt that he was living his father’s dream, and not his own. He always felt in his father’s shadow while still in Spain. Oftentimes, he would look into the stands, and he swore he saw his father.

It wasn’t until he came to Oklahoma City this year that Alex felt out of his father’s shadow. Oklahoma City welcomed him with open arms. They embraced his talents and didn’t look at him as a circus act or a replacement.

It took Alex a couple of months to fit in. Just when it looked like he was finding his footing, coach Billy Donovan would reign him in. It would upset Alex. It made him feel as if he was doing something wrong. But that wasn’t the case. Donovan was teaching him a lesson. Arguably, the same lesson his father was teaching, but in a nicer way. Instead of stretching him and humiliating him, Donovan forced him to sit next to Cameron Payne, who just wanted to talk about dancing and basketball.

On Wednesday night, Alex challenged Donovan. He forced his way into the lineup. And instead of deliberately missing in hopes that it hit his coach in the stomach, causing him to pee himself. He shot the piss out of the ball.