Some Wacky Last-Minute Memorabilia Gifts For Nets Fans

Dec 3, 2015; Brooklyn , NY, USA; Brooklyn Nets star Thaddeus Young poses for a photo with students from P.S. 21 during the Thaddeus Young Christmas gift giveaway in Brooklyn, New York. Mandatory Credit: Andy Marlin-USA TODAY Sports

‘Tis the season to be jolly… even if the Brooklyn Nets are one of the worst teams in the NBA. Here are some wacky, possibly useless memorabilia you could get for a Nets fan.

Christmas is in two days, so if you’re still pondering what to get for a hardcore Brooklyn Nets fan, this may or may not be the right post for you. Either way, NBAStore.com has you covered. Just be prepared to use that two-day rush shipping if that’s still possible.

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Even when the Nets only have seven wins over one-third into the NBA season, it’s important to spread some holiday cheer at this time of year. Christmas is all about giving and spending time with your family, which essentially means giving the Nets a hard time on Twitter and spending time watching them despite their never-changing habit of disappointing you.

Let’s focus on the “giving” aspect of the holiday season though. NBAStore.com has some of the most outrageous, peculiar items for fans, and of course, there were many Nets memorabilia that fit this bill.

Here are 10 gift options that a Nets fan may find useless, upsetting, or perhaps even worthwhile depending on their view on Nets history. Many of these have the “Few left!” tag, which isn’t surprising at all considering what they are. You’ll see soon enough.

At some points, it may seem like you’re reading wacky critiques of the items in question, but if you get that feeling, then I did something right.

Nov 4, 2016; Brooklyn, NY, USA; Brooklyn Nets forward Trevor Booker (35) reacts with Brooklyn Nets guard Sean Kilpatrick (6) after making a shot in the second quarter against Charlotte Hornets at Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Nicole Sweet-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets Highland Mint Country Photomint ($29.99)

If you think a Nets fan needed a reminder that America is a great country after the turn of events on November 8, then this would be the perfect gift.

We tend to say we live, love, and breathe the Nets 24/7, seven days a week, but we rarely say that the Nets run the country. Well, if being a seven-win team right before Christmas counts as running the country, then maybe that’s true. Or maybe it’s just because the Nets have Caris LeVert, who TJ and I would certainly vote for to be the next president.

Even better news: this product has a 100 percent wood frame with a glass front! And even something as silly as this needs a Certification of Authenticity. Hey, for something that needs to be verified for authenticity, $29.99 isn’t too bad.

If that doesn’t sell you, then maybe the 39mm minted bronze commemorative coin will. Or the description of the product will:

Your fandom will reach new levels when you add this Brooklyn Nets Country photomint from Highland Mint. It features awesome graphics representing the United States and the Brooklyn Nets.

It actually says “awesome graphics.” Bonus points for creativity and awesomeness, I suppose.

Maybe a Nets fan who travels a lot yet represents their team everywhere they go would like this one.

Oct 26, 2016; Indianapolis, IN, USA; From left to right Indiana Pacers general manager Donnie Walsh, owner Herb Simon, and president Larry Bird watch the Indiana Pacers play against the Dallas Mavericks at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Indiana defeats Dallas 130-121 in overtime. Mandatory Credit: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

1982 NBA All-Star Game Mega Ticket, Nets Host – MVP Larry Bird, Celtics ($79.99)

This would appeal more to the older generation of Nets fans, as few Brooklynites would have been around when the 1982 NBA All-Star Game took place. Fun fact: we’re talking about back in the time when the Nets had guys like Otis Songbird, Mike Woodson, and Buck Williams on the roster.

Out of all the items in this post, this is the one that you could say is like “owning a piece of history.” It’s certainly the oldest of the products on this list and one of the most expensive (a bit surprising that it’s not THE most expensive). And “owning a piece of history” is likely the only appeal to a fan to actually purchase this.

It’s funny how the description of the product says “Perfect for autographs.” Who on earth would you get to sign this thing if they didn’t play in the 1982 NBA All-Star Game? Well, I suppose hunting down Larry Bird when the Pacers are in town is always an option. And it’s always possible for you to bump into Buck Williams tomorrow. (Increase your chances by hanging around the Barclays Center on game day).

Anyway, this would be the perfect gift for Nets fans who live in New Jersey and despise Comcast for dropping YES Network.

Jan 16, 2015; Washington, DC, USA; Brooklyn Nets forward Kevin Garnett (2) hugs Washington Wizards forward Paul Pierce (34) prior to their game at Verizon Center. Mandatory Credit: Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets 2013 Collectible Team Card Set ($2.50)

More painful than wacky, but yes, I guess we need a reminder that the 2013 trade did happen (hey, that’s why this item is on sale, right?). Funny, it was $4.99 just a couple of days ago, and now it’s $2.50, though I’m not surprised — its value to Nets fans would probably be around $1. To convince Nets fans to buy this, there’d have to be some kind of extra incentive or reward.

Hey, at least the Nets made the playoffs that year, right? And judging from the display image of the product, you’re at least guaranteed to get a card of Paul Pierce, who in that lovely Brooklyn “super team,” stayed for the least amount of time.

Then there’s just seven more player cards to go in that deck… if you’re not a fan of the past (or just not three seasons ago), then Brook Lopez may be the only player you’re hoping to get. What a great gift to teach someone, “Good things don’t last forever.”

This would be the perfect gift for a bandwagon fan who rooted for the Nets in the 2013-14 season, then dropped the team in the following years. Don’t worry Nets Nation, those fans will be back once Brooklyn becomes slightly more respectable.

Mar 5, 2016; Minneapolis, MN, USA; Brooklyn Nets forward Thomas Robinson (41) is lifted up by guard Shane Larkin (0) and guard Sean Kilpatrick (6) as guard Markel Brown (22) looks on during the second half against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Target Center. The Timberwolves won 132-118. Mandatory Credit: Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets 2015/16 Team Trading Card Set ($6.99)

If you thought the 2013 collectible team card set was bad, well, this one gives that a run for its money. And unfortunately, this card set isn’t on sale, and it’s more expensive than the 2013 one, but it’s still not too bad of a price. Still, with how the 2015-16 season went, it’s perhaps better to forget than to remind ourselves with a trading card set from that year.

Remember: in 2015-16, the Nets only won 21 games (but as if we need a reminder, because we’re hoping they’ll eclipse that mark this year). There was little to no hope with that roster just a year ago (thank God that phase is over).

The good news is that Brook Lopez is on the display image of the product, so you’re guaranteed to get his player card at the very least. And there are still a few other likable players on the team that are still on the roster — Bojan Bogdanovic, Rondae Hollis-Jefferson, Sean Kilpatrick, and Chris McCullough.

Out of all the items on this list, this one may be the worst gift to give a Nets fan, unless you were trying to troll a Nets fan. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were though, since it does only cost $6.99.

Dec 3, 2016; Milwaukee, WI, USA; Brooklyn Nets guard Jeremy Lin (7) reacts in the third quarter during the game against the Milwaukee Bucks at BMO Harris Bradley Center. Mandatory Credit: Benny Sieu-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets Inaugural Game Mega Ticket ($79.99)

Show up to the Barclays Center with this mega ticket and beg the security guards to let you in. “Hey, I did spend $79.99 on this!” It’s crazy how an actual game ticket could be the same price or even cheaper than this mega ticket.

Like the 1982 NBA All-Star Game mega ticket (which is also the same price as this), anything that’s mega-sized is quite frankly, outrageous. Everything is not bigger in Brooklyn, but if bigger means more money, then you betcha. (Everything in New York City is overpriced, after all). Try thinking of one good reason to spend $79.99 on this. I dare you.

“Perfect for autographs” is once again in the major selling point of this mega ticket. Goodness, imagine you were sitting by the tunnel where the players come out, trying to get them to sign this giant ticket. Then, you or the player drops the ticket, and the ticket injures an ant. 14″ x 33″ x 3/4″ is larger than it may seem, and after all, it is a mega ticket.

I’m sure a little kid would enjoy an item like this, as children seem to enjoy much-larger-than-needed-to-be items like giant teddy bears. Still, pretty difficult to justify using up $79.99 on this.

Feb 14, 2015; New York, NY, USA; Minnesota Timberwolves guard Zach LaVine (right) is congratulated by forward Shabazz Muhammad (left) as Brooklyn Nets center Mason Plumlee (center) looks on during the 2015 NBA All Star Slam Dunk Contest competition at Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

2015 NBA All-Star Game Sports Propaganda Limited-Edition Handmade Framed Serigraph ($79.99)

Remember when New York hosted the All-Star Game two seasons ago? Also, how keen of them to put “Propaganda” in the name of the item, as if the item itself didn’t already show that.

I’ll admit, this is not too shabby of an item to hang up on your wall. The subway lines give the serigraph a Brooklyn-esque vibe, and if you remember, when the All-Star Game was held in NYC, subway lines and subway colors were the prevalent theme.

Still, you’d have to justify spending the same amount for a behind-the-backboard seat to a Nets game against the Pacers on this “limited-edition handmade framed serigraph.” Hey, at least the name sounds pretty legit.

Also, the description of the product is incorrect…

This limited-edition handmade Serigraph celebrates the 2014 NBA All-Star Game in New Orleans.

When did we time hop a year back? Or maybe this mistake alludes to the mistake of holding the 2017 All-Star Game in New Orleans, when it should really be in NYC again (let’s not get our hopes up).

Not sure if the product is framed or unframed either — the name says framed, but the description says unframed.

However, this aspect of the product might draw you in…

Each print is signed by artist Chris Speakman and individually numbered on 100% cotton, archival Stonehenge brand paper.

Huh, pretty neat!

Dec 12, 2016; Houston, TX, USA; Brooklyn Nets players stand for the national anthem before a game against the Houston Rockets at Toyota Center. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets 16” x 32” Framed Subway Sign ($45.00)

Ah yes, the good ol’ subway sign since the Nets are New York City. New York City has just about anything that is actually awful to those who live here, but amazing to those who dream of coming here. Exhibit A: the Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) — essentially the subway system, which is garbage. Exhibit B: Times Square for its serious overpopulation.

I’m not even sure how this is a subway sign. The only subway signs I know are the ugly white-background, black-text ones that display some outrageous service change.

But even with the item’s price drop of $75, that wouldn’t be enough to convince a Nets fan to purchase this. The name “D-Will” is on this sign. Come on now. You’d have to offer some kind of incentive for any Nets fan in their right mind to get this.

Also, the sign uses a lot of phrases that were popular when the Nets first came to Brooklyn, but have since, died out. “My Borough Is Thorough” is the phrase on the back of one of the many Nets t-shirts sitting in the far back of my closet. And did phrases like “The Brooklyn Chant” and “Blackout in Brooklyn” actually exist?

The NBA Store must’ve caught on to everything listed here though, because just a couple of days ago, this item was listed at $89.99. An additional $45 price drop makes the product slightly more respectable relative to its price.

Nov 18, 2016; Oklahoma City, OK, USA; Brooklyn Nets guard Jeremy Lin (7) is seen on the floor during player introductions prior to action against the Oklahoma City Thunder at Chesapeake Energy Arena. Mandatory Credit: Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets Color Coin – Gold ($13.00)

There were a few collectible coins on NBAStore.com, but this one is gold, and gold is always better, right? Plus, $13 for a gold coin isn’t bad at all (you should’ve seen the price a couple of days ago).

Seriously though, it IS a gold coin. In the details, the first line is “24kt, 35mm Gold-flashed coin.” That does sound rather flashy and appealing. And it can’t get any better with there only being a limited edition of 5,000 of these babies. Gold and limited stock, what a duo.

If you’re thinking of buying this for a Nets fan (or for yourself if you are a Nets fan), I don’t blame you. $13 is quite a bargain for something that would make you feel quite good about yourself (hello, it’s gold). I have a silver Nets coin lying around somewhere that I got on a huge sale as well, and it could sure use a gold friend.

This would be the perfect gift for an impatient Nets fan waiting for a championship parade. Note in Christmas card: “I know the Nets won’t be satisfying you anytime soon with a championship, but this gold coin might keep you happy until then!”

Mar 11, 2015; Miami, FL, USA; Brooklyn Nets guard Deron Williams (8) looks on during the second half against the Miami Heat at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets Deron Williams McFarlane 2013 Action Figurine ($19.99)

There were tons of wacky Deron Williams-related items, but this one is apparently a “Top Seller in Collectibles,” so it deserves a mention. Well, it’s surprising that this item is a top seller, considering D-Will’s notorious reputation in Brooklyn. Maybe all the sales back in 2012-13 helped this product land the title of “Top Seller in Collectibles.” After all, it is a 2013 action figurine.

Don’t get me wrong, D-Will had some great years with the Nets, but as we all know, it didn’t end well, with the hefty buyout for the last two seasons of his contract. And if it doesn’t end well, then it’s all over for being respected by the fans. Eventually, this D-Will 2013 action figurine will need a price drop to attract new takers.

Also, this is a very misleading description of the product…

This cool collectible features painted graphics of your favorite player while in action. It measures approx. 6.5” x 4.5” and would be adored by any Brooklyn Nets fan.

Well… that’s not true, at least not anymore. I don’t think many Nets fans “adore” D-Will anymore, nor is he their “favorite player.” Maybe I’m wrong. But, if I’m not mistaken, I’m right.

Nov 4, 2016; Brooklyn, NY, USA; Brooklyn Nets guard Jeremy Lin (7) on the bench with an injury in the first quarter against Charlotte Hornets at Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Nicole Sweet-USA TODAY Sports

Brooklyn Nets Highland Mint 2017 Signature Court Panoramic Photo ($49.99)

By now, you’ve probably realized that many of the items I discussed are horrible ideas for gifts. Well, I’ll end this piece on a positive note, with a product that would actually be a good gift.

This panoramic photo has just about everything a Nets fan would love: the Nets logo on the jumbotron, a panorama of the Barclays Center, and facsimile (exact replica) signatures! It would be even better if instead of exact replica signatures, they were authentic, but then, the item wouldn’t only be $49.99.

Also, the description of the product reeks of customer satisfaction even before you buy it with something like this:

The Brooklyn Nets 2017 Signature Court panoramic photo from Highland Mint is sure to be your most prized piece of team memorabilia.