People we'd like to see in the NBA Celebrity Game, alive or dead

The NBA’s Celebrity game has one major flaw: There aren’t enough celebrities. Sure, every once in a while we get a dose of Justin Bieber or a sprinkle or Nelly, and obviously, there’s always a whole bunch of Kevin Hart to go around. But there are still far too many moments when we’re stuck looking at our TVs and thinking, “Wait, who the heck is that guy?” There are unrealistic, hypothetical ways to fix that, though. The NBA could set up a system that works the same as a subpoena: Get invited to the Celebrity Game, and you have to go. And, of course, time machines would help, too. So, let’s save the Celebrity Game with these particular invites.

1. Kanye West

Kanye (left) with Lamar Odom

Kanye doesn’t necessarily need to play in the game, but the arguable most talented artist in the world may be even more talented on Twitter than he is in music. So, don’t let Kanye step on the court. Just have him sit on the side, live tweet the game and entertain the masses with his ranting. And if he does end up occupying Twitter for the entirety of the night, then we have to make sure Wiz Khalifa plays in the game, too, wearing skinny jeans and all.

2. Beyonce and Jay-Z

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Invite America’s favorite power couple to the game, but split them up just for the night. A few years ago, when Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel were dating, the two comedians played for separate teams during MLB’s celebrity softball game. They ended up trash talking each other the whole time they were on the field. Would Jay-Z and Beyonce get as competitive as them? Or is there absolutely nothing that could divide the most talented couple in Hollywood?

3. Odell Beckham Jr.

OBJ may be the world’s best athlete, so let’s just place him on the court merely to see what he can do. We know he can throw down with authority. We know he can do some impersonations, too. He did, after all, release this video of some pretty solid version of LeBron James copycatting.

The man who has turned the one-handed catch into a routine occurrence would be a blast on the court, merely from an athletic perspective. Get him out there. Let him do his best LeBron. And speaking of impressions . . .

4. Jay Pharoah

The best new impressionist on "Saturday Night Live" is one of the most versatile impersonators comedy has today. No, Pharoah probably couldn’t do a perfect LeBron like Beckham could, but wouldn’t it be great to see him throw on the Doc Rivers "Complain Face" after a referee made a call with which he disagreed? Couldn’t he Xerox some of the goofy moves Nick Young has shown off on the hardwood or mimic one of Stan Van Gundy’s great rants? Anything is possible with Pharoah.

5. George Patton

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More than a decade ago, Richard Jefferson, who now plays for the Cavaliers and was with the Nets at the time, participated in the Celebrity Game. It was an odd inclusion for a player who was almost All-Star level, anyway. Jefferson obviously dominated the game, and he gave an unusually intense halftime interview before heading back into the locker room. It was as if he actually wanted to win. But if you thought that was intense, just imagine the speech General Patton would give if he had the honor of speaking with a reporter before heading into the tunnel. That, alone, would make his inclusion in the game worth it.

6. Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes

It’s been 24 years since Snipes and Harrelson made the classic film "White Men Can’t Jump", and both gentlemen are currently in their 50s now. But Harrelson can legitimately shoot. That should age well. And as long as Woody takes the floor wearing his patented backwards hat and Snipes leaves the locker room with that popped brim protruding from his forehead, the two of them could bring back some nostalgia from one of the most entertaining basketball movies ever.

7. Barack Obama

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We know the president can ball. We know he’s got some attitude on the court, too. Heck, he didn’t just sink a 14-footer when he was shooting around with the Washington Wizards last year. He even proceeded to trash-talk Paul Pierce after the fact. President Obama’s buddy, secretary of education Arne Duncan, is already a perennial participant in the Celebrity Game, and the president’s schedule should be freeing up a whole bunch by next year’s All-Star break. Why not make the trip to the Celebrity Game then?

8. Cheryl Miller

Cheryl’s brother, NBA Hall of Famer Reggie Miller, says that Cheryl used to beat up on her younger bro while the two of them were on the court all the time. Now, let’s see if she’s still got it. Miller was a star at UCLA in the early 1980s, but she’s still involved with basketball as a coach and a once-reporter. Only in her early 50s, Miller could still have it, and it would be a blast to see her school some of the boys at her own game.

9. The Mountain from "Game of Thrones"

Whether he attends as just an actor, Hafpor Julius Bjornsson, or as Gregor Clegane or as the Mountain from Game of Thrones, this man deserves a spot in All-Star Weekend. How could anyone not recognize his size and sheer strength? Ever see how Kendrick Perkins straight bullies smaller guys when they get into the post? Imagine Bjornsson working smaller players down low. And fun fact: Before he was an actor and competitor in the World’s Strongest Man competitions, Bjornsson was actually a basketball player.

10. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog

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If Air Bud could do it, so can Triumph. No, dogs can’t palm the ball or dunk or shoot conventionally, but neither can Kevin Hart. Besides, Triumph would be there for the mental side of the game. You know how Kevin Garnett gets in opponents’ heads on the court? Imagine how Triumph, one of the world’s greatest insult comics, could annihilate his competition’s morale. He could help his team win if only because he would break the other's spirit. And we’d probably get some laughs in the process.

11. Albert Einstein

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If anyone could figure out some sort of formula to perfect basketball, it's the most famous employee in the history of the Swiss patent office. Einstein penned E=MC². He could certainly figure out that 3s are worth more than 2s. It's worth giving Einstein a shot just because he could outsmart everyone on the court.