Damian Lillard is out for 'revenge' with Bucks after 'toughest year of my life'

IRVINE, California — As Damian Lillard cut tape off of his legs following a recent Milwaukee Bucks practice, he paused when asked a particular question. 

Where does last year rank among the hardest ones of your life?

Lillard shook his head. He stopped what he was doing. He made direct eye contact.

"I would probably have to rank it at the top, probably the toughest year of my life," Lillard told FOX Sports.

Lillard's life was upended about a year ago when the Portland Trail Blazers, the team for which he had played all 11 seasons of his career, stunned him by sending him to the Bucks in late-September after he requested a trade with the hopes of landing in Miami. A few days later, he filed for divorce from his wife and college sweetheart, Kay'La Lillard, with whom he shares three children.

It was a dizzying time in his life, both professionally and personally.

"It wasn't like I was traded in the middle of the summer or anything like that," Lillard told FOX Sports. "It was right before camp started, a couple of days before camp started. I didn't know where I was going to be. Going through a divorce. I got three kids. Being away from my kids. Not having a schedule set when I'm going to see them. It was just a lot. A lot to juggle at one time while still having to perform. [It was] just hard."

Lillard, an eight-time All Star who is widely considered one of the top point guards to play the game, went on to struggle last season. He averaged 24.3 points on 42.4% shooting from the field and 35.4% from beyond the arc, a significant dip from the 32.2 points on 46.3% shooting and 37.1% from beyond the 3-point line he averaged in the 2022-23 season. The injury-riddled Bucks went on to be eliminated by the Indiana Pacers in the first round of the playoffs.

Lillard has vowed to turn things around this season.

He wants to put the Bucks in a position to win a championship. And when asked if he believes he and Giannis Antetokounmpo can live up to their initial expectations of becoming one of the most dominant duos in the league, he didn't hesitate.

"Yeah, I think we can," Lillard told FOX Sports. "... It's not a matter of us having to do something special. What he's dominant at, what I'm dominant at, goes together. And we both gotta be aggressive and understand the moments and situations where we can use the other to create an advantage. And we gotta just trust that. And as time has gone on, we've gotten better and better. And this year it'll be even better."

Lillard acknowledges that he didn't feel like himself on the court last season. He's best when he's under pressure, when there's one second left on the clock and the score is tied. External noise and stimuli? That's nothing for him.

But internal noise and angst? That proved to be another story, deeply affecting him.

Now, he's determined to show his teammates and coaches the real him. He's looking at this as a revenge season, though, for him, that phrase doesn’t have a typical definition.

"I think a lot of times people talk about revenge seasons, it's like they're going out for blood with everybody else," Lillard told FOX Sports. "But I think it's the revenge of something I need to go take back for me, not for anybody else. I know what went into last season. And I know what goes into me being my best. That's all I'm focusing on."

Lillard devoted his offseason to returning to his sharpest state. He cut travel. He poured himself into his workouts. He changed his diet. 

"Dairy free, gluten-free, no processed food," Lillard told FOX Sports. "Everything was clean. It was hard in the beginning. When I left town, I traveled with meal prep food, frozen food. ... It would take a lot of responsibility and discipline. But I was able to sustain it."

As for his workouts, not only did he focus on basketball, lifting, agility and boxing, but he also trained with David Goggins, a former Navy SEAL who is renowned for his ultra-endurance feats.

Lillard posted a video on Instagram in August of Goggins motivating him as he pushed his body to the extreme on different exercise machines. It left Lillard shaking his head and questioning himself, but it also apparently showed him that he’s capable of much more than he thought.

"As much as it challenges your conditioning, it challenges your mind more than anything," Lillard told FOX Sports. "It's a test for your mind to show you how far you can go, how much you got in the tank, what you're able to push through. So that was a good experience for me."

So far, it appears it has all paid off. It's only a few days into training camp, but Bucks coach Doc Rivers, who took over the helm last January, has already noticed a stark difference with Lillard.

"Just seeing him, it was night and day," Rivers said. "He's comfortable now. He feels like he's at home now."

Rivers said he was in contact with Lillard throughout the summer. They talked about how Lillard could fit into the system, how Rivers could best facilitate that and what the team needs to do to become a championship contender. 

If anyone could relate to Lillard's plight last season, it was Rivers, who played 13 seasons in the NBA for four different teams and is in the midst of his fifth head coaching stint.

"I've been traded as a player, hell, I was traded as a coach, but not a day before camp, two days before camp, especially when you think you're going somewhere else," Rivers said. "I can't imagine how difficult that was."

As for Antetokounmpo, he's hopeful that he and Lillard can soar this season. He acknowledged there was a steep learning curve among the two superstars last season, especially since Antetokounmpo is used to positionless basketball while Lillard is a true point guard, and Lillard is used to pick-and-rolls down the stretch while Antetokounmpo is accustomed to moving the ball quickly.

"Slowly, slowly, with time you understand," Antetokounmpo told reporters at Bucks media day. "It's definitely hard when you're — I'm 29, I think he's 34 — at this moment in our career to change the habits you've created. But if you want to win, you have to do so. And I think we both, me and him and the rest of the team are willing to do whatever it takes to win."

Lillard is now completely focused on winning a championship, something that's eluded him over his illustrious career. 

And Lillard made it clear that when he opens up about his struggles last season, he's not fishing for sympathy. He's just being honest. Professional athletes are also humans who go through painful times. 

"I think people do look at athletes as robots and I think mostly it's because of the amount of money we make," Lillard told FOX Sports. "... And I think because of that, people think that the hardships don't mean as much."

Lillard said he's in a better mental space now, something that took time.

"I had to allow myself to gain better perspective," Lillard told FOX Sports. "There's a lot of people that may be defending the country, and they don't get to see their kids at all. They don't get to see their family at all and their lives are on the line. There's a lot of things out there that could be worse than what my situation is."

He credited the people around him for helping pull him through the toughest of times, especially his mother, brother, cousins and closest friends.

"I learned that I have a true support system," Lillard told FOX Sports. "I just had a lot of people show up for me ... People came out and stayed for a while in Milwaukee, came to games, brought some energy to the house. They were there to keep it normal and to keep it positive, and I think that was the biggest thing I learned. Regardless of how successful you are, it's really important that you honor and appreciate those relationships that you have in life, and that was my biggest takeaway."

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Now, Lillard is looking forward to doing what he does best. 

His body is in great shape. His mind is clear. And he's on a mission. 

While last year was about survival, this year is about redemption. 

"I just tried to show up every day and put my best foot forward," Lillard acknowledged of last season. "But when a lot is weighing on you, your best foot forward is not what it is when you're your more clear, free self. I think that's what kind of year it was for me. But everything comes to pass. I think those times have passed."

Melissa Rohlin is an NBA writer for FOX Sports. She previously covered the league for Sports Illustrated, the Los Angeles Times, the Bay Area News Group and the San Antonio Express-News. Follow her on Twitter @melissarohlin.