Mustache group contends White Sox violated pitcher's rights

Over the weekend, Chris Sale was ordered by Chicago White Sox manager Robin Ventura to shave off his “scruffy” beard.

Thursday, The American Mustache Institute, after seeing this as a “stark violation of Mr. Sales’ civil liberties,” came to the pitcher’s defense, filed legal papers and sent the following correspondence to Rick Hahn, Chicago’s general manager.

“Mr. Ventura’s edict violates Mr. Sales’ fundamental workplace rights and has contributed to a hostile work environment therein,” the AMI contends. “The White Sox are not, of course, alone in this endeavor. A 2010 poll conducted for Bellingham, Washington-based Workplace Bullying Institute said that 37 percent of U.S. workers — some 54 million people — believe they have been subjected to a workplace hostility.”

Gulp.

“Your manager is preoccupied with restricting the growth, masculinity, devout handsomeness, earning potential and the civil liberties of your employees,” the suit continues. “These discriminatory policies are clearly aimed at disallowing your players to experience their ordained heritage as sexually dynamic people of facial hair to the degree they wish. And our community disapproves greatly.”

The American Mustache Institute is seeking retribution for damages ranging between $14.97 (US dollars) and $20.2 million.

Your move, White Sox.