James Joyce calls baseball on St. Patrick's Day

Author James Joyce, the ultimate Irishman, always had a unique way of expressing himself.

Anyone who has read – or attempted to read – “Ulysses” or “Finnegans Wake” can attest that, while poignant, his prose was often served up on a platter indigestible for most.

But perhaps when applied to baseball’s one-day love affair with the Irish, it will make more sense to all of us.

For the literally millions of you who have always wondered, here’s what a day of baseball would be like if called by the late, great James Joyce: