Why you should NOT fill out an NCAA tournament bracket

In 2014, I picked Duke to win the National Championship.

I loved the Blue Devils' talent: that Duke team featured Jabari Parker, Rodney Hood, and a Plumlee (I can't remember which one, but it doesn't matter).  I loved their draw: they opened the NCAA tournament with de-facto home games in Raleigh, N.C. and the top seed in their region was a mid-major, Wichita State.

Yes, 2014, was going to be Duke's year, I was sure of it, and because of that, it was going to be my year to win all my bracket pools.

So when Mercer, a 14-seed out of the Atlantic Sun Conference, started giving Duke trouble in a first-round, Friday matchup, I wasn't excited.

Yes, something awesome was happening, I could see that, but the thought of my bracket prevented me from fully rooting for the Bears. Joy is an all-or-nothing emotion, so I didn't feel it when Mercer came back from five points down in the last 4:52 of the contest to beat Duke.

I should have been howling at the moon, but my bracket, and the unnecessary biases that come along with every filled-in line, tainted March Madness.

I learned the truth that year: The joy of picking a first or second-round winner on your bracket cannot match the enjoyment of seeing Duke lose to a team nearly illegible jerseys in the first round at home.

I never wanted to choose between my bracket and an incredible upset again — so I dumped the bracket.

You should, too.

Here's another truth: You're not going to win your bracket pool. Don't even bother deluding yourself into thinking you can. Whether at the office or with friends, the winner of the $100 gift card to Macaroni Grill will be your boss' 7-year-old daughter or Mike, your buddy's brother-in-law, who wears a lot of turtlenecks and really puts his whole body into pronouncing entree names at Mexican restaurants (he's picking chalk, except for Princeton — his "safety school").

Those people aren't even trying to win, unlike you.

You have dignity, so even though you only watched 25 minutes of college basketball this year, probably around Thanksgiving (no, you didn't learn anything that can help), you'll do some research, which will consist of 20 minutes on KenPom.com (Hey, Ken says West Virginia is fifth best team in the nation, but they're only a 4-seed. Upset special!) and 40 minutes Googling "2017 NCAA Tournament upset picks." (I have SEO'd this post accordingly.)

Even with that "research", you're still going to lose. And worse yet, you'll go down without principle. You don't have real beliefs over who will win and lose, you're just going through the motions so you don't feel like an ignorant fool.

Guess what, you are. So am I.

And ignorance is bliss.

It's certainly far more blissful than picking the winner in a 6-11 first-round matchup in Sacramento.

If you have to fill out a bracket — I get it, societal pressures are strong — don't spend a minute thinking about it. Use whatever college basketball knowledge you already have in your mind, no matter how outdated it is, and flow state it. (Robbie Hummel absolutely still plays for Purdue, so put them in the Elite Eight.) Fill that bracket out so fast that you couldn't possibly remember who you picked come Thursday. Then, once the games start, pretend that bracket never existed. You'll have a much better time.

And if you need the thrill of monetary action to enjoy the tourney, go to Vegas. (Why on earth would you take a 67-team outright parlay when you can just play the spread on one game? Get it together.)

The NCAA Tournament doesn't need augmentation to enjoy — it's inherently bonkers. But still, millions will decide that it needs a boost and they'll give themselves unnecessary rooting interests and guaranteed conflict.

Watch, before the second round even starts Saturday (let's not get into the play-in-games and how they helped ruin the bracket process — no one, not even Kansas, cares if N.C. Central or Cal-Davis wins on Wednesday) a handful of incredible things will happen that will have your entire Facebook timeline declaring "my bracket's busted."

Even if those people engaged in the necessary cognitive dissonance to root against their bracket as, say, a 15 seed beat a 2, they're still partially complaining about something incredible, much like I did in 2014. Unless your bracket is chock-full of upsets (that means picking at least two 16-seeds to advance), you're going to find yourself rooting for a favorite this March.

Don't put yourself in that situation.

Don't fill out a bracket.